Leaving West Florida...

...bound for Miami. I have been spending lots of time with my 93 year old grandmother, Marge. Yesterday, we went to a sing-a-long. I lasted 15 minutes before running out into the rain, flinging myself into the car, and then landing at a bar where i downed a beer while panting away my urge to kill myself. When i picked up Marge two hours later, she exclaimed, "you missed the yodeler!" Ah hell.

We have been spending much time in the yard, where Marge has proven herself to be, once again, bionic. While pulling weeds one morning, I was startled by the loud sounds of CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! I looked to the opposite corner of the yard, and there was Marge, chopping down a palm tree with an ax. Heaving herself into the motion, her humped back rose and fell with her swinging arms. When i ran over to help, she put her hand out, and said, "stand back, honey, you might get hurt". One morning later, while i raked, i heard a loud THUNK! Looking over, i saw nothing except a fallen ladder below an orange tree. I walked over to investigate. When i noticed the tree shaking, I looked up, and there stood Marge. She had been pruning the upper most limbs, and knocked over the ladder as she stepped up into the tree.

"Mom Mom! What are you doing in the tree?" I asked.
"Just trimming it honey. Can you please pick up that ladder?"

After hanging out at the Polish American Club one afternoon, we made the rounds to a bunch of different VFW outposts. At each one we sat down at a bar and knocked down beers while sharing the company of other debaucherous seniors. While Marge went on at length about how none of the men here were her type, I elbowed her and nodded toward an appealing 70 something to her right. As quickly as i could point him out, she swung around on her seat and said coquettishly, "Hey! You look lonely!" 

We wound up talking to him for a while, and although i was prepared to sit there being bored while Marge chatted him up, I was delighted to discover that he (Ian) owns a construction company in Canada that is currently drilling a channel behind Niagra Falls, which will carry water that will be damned and pumped, providing water power for upper new york. He was very proud of the fact that NY has to buy its power from Canada. He said that the bore which was used to drill the British side of the Chunnel had been shipped over to create the tunnel, but had proven too small, and therefor was sitting unused near the Falls, and a new bore, 45 feet in diameter had been created in the states. Unlike my grandmother, that is one big bore. (sorry)

we talked quite a bit about asphalt as well. One of my favorite subjects. He said dandelions are the only thing that combat the viscosity of asphalt. Interesting.  He also mentioned, not unsmugly, that Canada uses 6 inches of asphalt, while in the states, 4 is customary.

My car is in the shop now getting new motor mounts, but with any luck, i will be on the road tomorrow bound for Miami. My good chum Raya will be joining me on my cruise, and I am looking foward to the adventure.

Bye Dear Reader. More Soon.